Say YES to LESS

I have not written in a while as my life has been overwhelming, but good. I am just not keeping up with the stream of things and mostly this has been due to not being true to me. I say “YES” to too many people, and therefore, I am often saying “NO” to me! This past year I have been busy at my nurse consulting business, becoming certified in life coaching, coaching at least 4 clients at any given point, being class parent, Girl Scout leader, mother of four, wife, daughter, dog owner, and friend. However, many things are on the back burner in my life. I started to write a book at least 2 years ago which consists of 3 chapters and has been sitting on my computer unfinished. When I am searching for a document on my computer and I see the one titled “Behind the Curtains” I cringe because it is the evidence that I am not being true to me. I want to finish writing my book. My house has been in the process of various projects that are at a standstill. I can’t seem to find the time. I want to finish my house so I can entertain and be comfortable. The question I ask myself and the question that is important for so many of us is “what blocks us from achieving our goals?” 

The answer is simple. We give away our power. We say yes when we want to say no. We put off the joy. We people-please. We put others’ needs before our own. Here are some helpful reminders which I have learned from my mentors: From Ellyn “No is a complete sentence” and “in order to say yes to yourself, you may need to say no to others.”  From Nancy:  “Yes is good and no is good also.” Now I have a new life coach Ilanit and she is going to help me implement these statements into my life. Yes, this life coach has a life coach. We all need people to help us see the truth, our truth. For me, it is about having the courage to put myself first and to know I am worthy of being first in line. That does not come natural for me.

What do I want to do instead of my 50 million obligations? I want to meditate, walk, do yoga, cook, entertain, have coffee with a friend, read a book and just be. I want to have a conversation on the telephone for 10 minutes without looking at my watch 5 times. I want to respond to my daughter’s request to play Monopoly without groaning! I want to visit my other daughter in the city and walk across the Brooklyn Bridge and have ice cream on the other side. I want to visit my younger son in LA and bring along my older son so I can get a 2-for-1 deal. I want to go on dates with my husband. I want to have tea with my mother. I feel rich when I spend quality time with the people I care about. That is the abundance I am searching for.

My fellow coach Maxine Hargreaves posted a story in her blog from the book “One hundred Wisdom Stories from around the world” by Margaret Silf. This story was so helpful in opening my eyes. I do not want to put off all the things I think I will do in retirement. I want to do them right now. It’s a story worth sharing: “The Fisherman’s Dream”.

A fisherman once sat in the midday sun, gazing out to sea, watching his little fishing boat riding at anchor, and thinking to himself how good it was to sit in the sun with no worries, watch the waves breaking and enjoy God’s creation.

But his daydream was interrupted when a smartly dressed and rather overweight businessman came up to him, and broke into his reverie with a sharp question: ‘What are you doing lazing around at midday. Why aren’t you out fishing?’

Somewhat taken aback, the fisherman replied, ‘I’ve done my day’s fishing. I’ve taken my fish to market, and now I’m relaxing in the sun.’

‘But why don’t you put out to sea again and catch some more fish?’ his questioner insisted.

‘Why would I want to do that?’ replied the fisherman politely

‘Well, then you would make twice as much money.’

‘Why would I want to do that?’

‘Well, then you could buy a bigger, better boat, and catch even more fish. You could even employ other people to do the fishing. My word, you could own a whole fleet of fishing boats if you weren’t so lazy.’

“Why would I want to do that?’

‘Well, if you owned your own fleet of boats, and employed other people to do the fishing, you would have as much money as you could ever dream of.

‘Why would I want that?’

“Well, then you could spend the rest of your life just doing whatever you wanted to do. Sitting in the sun, relaxing and enjoying yourself with no worries…’

So today I sat in the dog park enjoying the sun and the trees and watching my dog chase a ball;  I spent time writing; I meditated, and I am now going to get some work done so that I can get to Los Angeles this year. I love that balance. All work and no play make Jeanette a dull girl. I love feeling the power of choice. Today I stand in my power thanks to a little help from my mentors and friends. Will you join me?

 

6 thoughts on “Say YES to LESS

  1. Jeanette, loved this post. WOW – I say “YES” to too many people, and therefore, I am often saying “NO” to me! What magnificent insight! “I love feeling the power of choice” another incredible feeling to marinate in while appreciating what that really means to stand in your power. And, life coaches with life coaches – we all have one, which speaks volumes to the value we believe they offer. Fantastic post! Love this message and love you!

  2. Jeanette, thanks for this post. Making appointments with ourselves is just as important as appointments with others! Easier said than done sometimes. I remind myself, though, of this – I would think twice about canceling with a friend, etc. Why would I cancel my appointments with myself with any more ease?

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